nesting

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008 8:48:37 AM

it could be the coffee.
and it probably is. but i have this fantastic sense that the day will be rich.

i bought a vacuum cleaner last night, and some things for the kitchen. i'm sure this could be it, too. when i build this home up again, when i force myself to make decisions about who i am in a set of nice knives, or a dark wooden dresser, or a very long and expensive sofa, i will know more about who i am when i leave here. it seems backwards, but it makes sense to me. i am learning how to manifest myself into a physical world. i am nesting.

i have done this before, but it has not been so serious. i was 19, or 23, or inherited everything from someone else and agreed that was what i would look like. and now i have all of these rooms that may never really be mine. and i will fill them joyfully, and not even think about what might happen to all of that money.
why do i think about what might happen to all of that money?

i am going to run to the shower and think about what the bathroom needs, and dress in my bedroom and survey that, too. i am going to leave work early today on a quest for my living room in this city, and i am going to buy a lawn mower online, when i should be taking calls.


and i will replace that fucking hammock.


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